if you borrow my book and ruin it, i’ll ruin your face

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Time To Be An Adult

These past few days have been the most adult moments of my life thus far.

With the parents gone, I have the whole entire house to myself and with that comes the responsibilities of the home as well. Cooking, cleaning, gardening, petting sitting, etc,. But it doesn’t end there. I’m taking care of the puppy all by myself this weekend and it’s exhausting. The boyfriend is gone for the weekend for a bachelor party so no help from him. So I’m playing single parent for the weekend. Nope, I’m not done yet. I’m also working 7 days straight with shifts between 7-12 hours, which doesn’t include the two hour travel time to and from work. When I get home, I don’t even have the time to really relax because I spend the rest of the time playing with the puppy or completing UVSA finance stuff.

All this adult-ness is really exhausting. I need more sleep. But my schedule is so busy with work and even after I’m done working I’ll have to pack and move my stuff from Santa Cruz. At least in a little over a week I’ll be on a plane and leaving the country.

Sooooo much to do in soooooo little time. Okay, rant over.

To be faithful and patient

Sometimes I really wonder if God is really out there looking out and over me.

The challenges that I’ve faced in the past month has honest been beyond anything I have ever experience. And I just don’t know how to handle it. My poor puppy is sick and has been sick since the day he came into my life. And while money should never be a problem, this puppy has cost well over $1000, of which $500+ has been from medical expenses just for the month I’ve had him.

To keep him around, I’ve had to move out of my parents home and into my boyfriend’s and to be completely honest, it hasn’t been fun. If anything it has put more stress on the both of us and our relationship. Mentally, emotionally, and physically, I am breaking down. Each and every day I am getting weaker and the more and more I want to run away from it all. I’m suppose to be positive and believe that God will help me as long as I stay faithful. But, my faith is gone. I feel like the world is out to get me that everything is falling apart. As my faith deteriorates so does my patience.

If Bentley doesn’t get better, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I would want to keep him or put him down or give him away. I thought keeping him in a less stressful environment would help but I don’t think this environment is any less stressful for him or I. The thought of him leaving my life is honestly heartbreaking.


I’m an adult, but not like a real adult

anyone between the ages of 18 and 25 (via prettyboystyles)

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